


Help me to help you

by AkiraYayoi



Category: Saint Seiya
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26132269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkiraYayoi/pseuds/AkiraYayoi
Summary: Milo has been feeling not like himself lately. Ignoring Camus's pleas to help him reconnect and be happy again, away from his worries and past stressful times. Camus forces something out of Milo he wasn't expecting but for his own good.Fluff/Angst; Milo/CamusTW; Mentions of depression, anxiety, panic attack.This is my first fic ever so critic is welcomed, bad and good! A big WIP. Thank you for reading.
Relationships: Aquarius Camus/Scorpio Milo
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

Today was a normal day, or that was what Milo thought. This morning he had woken up to another 'small' headache which was becoming normal for him unfortunately, due to new circumstances and responsibilities he had acquired around the Sanctuary. Nothing too big to handle for a gold saint of his rank per say, but the small amount of stress he had built up over the years was now starting to swell up more and more. A small normal day for the man would consist of: waking up, gulping two to four headache pills, eating breakfast, going out and training some new recruits, come back to his house, take more pills, eat dinner, train on his own (that is if he had any mental force left) and going back to sleep. 'Not a big deal', he would repeat to himself everyday. 'Just another day!', he continued to think.. not noticing how bad he needed to settle down and take time for himself. When training these new recruits he had the obligation and had forced himself to keep up a strong and stern facade to influence them into giving it their all so that maybe one day they could get an armor of their own, or even better; get praised by the mighty Golden Scorpion.

Shaking his thoughts away on how his days seemed to vanish behind a thick veil of repetition, Milo sat up in his bed and reached weakly for his medicine, taking only two this morning in hopes to quench his sad addiction to the thing. With a giant yawn the man rose to his feet and made his way to the kitchen while making sure he didn't bump into any walls this time. Keeping his blurry morning vision in check, he finally reached the kitchen where he sat at his table as he looked over to a small calender at the center of said table and took it in hand to bring it closer so he could clearly read its contents. Unfortunately his head pain caused him to lose some of his eyesight at times, a symptom that the scorpion man tried to ignore as it made him feel weak and even more stressed about his worsening condition. He only referred to his headaches as 'headaches' and NOT 'migraines' because that word angered his decaying pride and would cause his fellow saints to act softer around him, which he believed was rude and unfitting for a man such as him. With a loud ringing piercing through his skull and intense pain around his eyes and head, Milo read what he had previously written on this week's schedule: off.  
'Off? What does that even..', he thought as his eyes and mouth suddenly widened in pure joy.  
This week was his first week off in months! The memory of him making the request to the Pope quickly ran through his head as it slammed down on the table making his migraine much worse obviously, but his smile did not falter. Small giggles of desperate joy escaped the violet haired man who quickly got up and sprinted back in his bed, falling asleep almost immediately for a full day and a half. Finally.. he could finally relax.

Camus had been watching Milo from afar, seeing as they were close friends it only seemed fit for someone to try and care for the scorpion as it showed that even the man himself wasn't able to properly manage his mental and physical health. Everytime he felt bad or slightly unwell, Milo was there to cheer the frigid man on and nurse him back to his usual self but when HE was feeling down in the dumps nothing or noone was seemingly able to cheer him up. While he always put up a strong and happy facade in front of everyone and fooled them perfectly, the Aquarius knew and saw through his japes; opaque as an empty glass. Making comments here and there about his migraines, passing them as normal mundane headaches, training non-stop with the recruits and even over hours by himself to keep up his shape, emptying insane amounts of unlabeled small containers.. finding the labels half burned by his house revealing them to be pain relievers and headache pills, to even find Milo talking to himself and prepping himself up in the morning by complimenting himself and sometimes even crying before leaving his temple. It was clear that he needed and deserved help but his futile attempts at offering his services were always denied or ignored, leaving Camus to wonder if Milo even cared about himself anymore.. or even about his friends. No one was there for his best friend and today was the day where he would force Milo to listen to him and make him confess that he truly wanted help and that he still cared, otherwise he would be considered a lost cause and all this would only make the Aquarius's heart shatter even more than it already was.


	2. Chapter 2

Camus quickly made his way to the scorpion temple immediately after making his bold decision to force his friend into finally taking some time off to relax and talk about his worries. Only a few seconds after setting foot in the place the ice saint could already feel something was off. Sure, he did feel Milo's presence but why did it feel so tame compared to what he was now used to feeling? The saint slowly made his way to the kitchen where he thought he would find his pal at this early hour of the morning but he was surprisingly nowhere to be seen. Not a single trace other than the small calender that had fallen to the floor right by a misplaced chair beside the dining table. Camus kneeled and grabbed the object, flipping through its contents month by month, noting in mind everything that had been written inside. On each week, each monday, was plastered a single word: Training. One thing that stood out however was how Milo's handwriting had changed over the past few months. From bold, sure and proud strokes to faded, uncertain and unreadable lines which brought more flames to Camus's will to finally help and cure his friend. 

As he set the item down, the blue haired man made his way to Milo's sleeping quarters, stopping in his tracks before knocking.  
A heavy sigh escaped his dry mouth, gulping courageously before finally deciding to knock lightly on the soft wooden door. Three small knocks.  
"Milo? Are you awake?" Camus called out gently, waiting for a reply or for the door to open.  
Nothing came to pass, making him knock a few more times but this time slightly harder to make sure his presence was known.  
"Milo, it's Camus. Are you in here? May I come in?", he asked before placing his hand on the knob.  
After one minute of pure intense silence the man resigned and turned the handle, pushing the door slowly to have a peek inside.  
"I'm coming in, please do not be alarm--"  
It only took a few seconds for Camus's eyes to adjust to the dark room's lack of lighting as he entered the chamber only to find his friend sleeping soundly, curled and snuggled by his thick covers; a smile on his face. As the Aquarius saint made his way to the bed, the outside light shined brightly on the sleeping beauty's features, revealing thick dark circles around his eyes, messy not brushed hair and a massive pool of drool right by his face on his pillow, accompanied by loud annoying snoring. Truth be told, Camus wondered how he had not heard the said snoring from outside as it ruled over all the room, echoing from every single little cranny. 

Camus could only smile at how cute his pal could be whilst he was resting but it didn't distract his mind from how messed up and terrible Milo looked when he truely did not try to look presentable to the outside world, especially considering his obvious predicament.  
"Is that what you meant by 'off' on the calendar? Did you finally decide to take some time off? Maybe you're not as far gone as I previously thought.." The man spoke outloud, caressing his soft cold hand on top of Milo's head, making him flinch slightly at the sudden show of affection. Fortunately Milo was far too tired to be awaken from such a poor attempt, rolling over to his left side now facing the wall, covering his head with his sheets. Camus's hand retreated as soon as Milo's body moved to make sure no more disturbances would be afflicted on the weak saint.  
"I'll come back tomorrow. Sleep well, Milo", he slowly whispered as he made his way out of the room, closing the door behind him to let the depleted man recharge.


	3. Chapter 3

As the next day rolled around, the Aquarius found himself waking up later than usual which had not happened in a while. Maybe it was related to Milo? Did seeing his friend finally slightly more at peace make him feel less restrained and more at ease?  
'Perhaps..', he thought as he lifted himself from the shackles of his bed and went on his late morning as usual.   
After a long extensive shower and an earthy breakfast the courageous man made his way back to his friend's abode. The day before he had come at around 8 a.m. ish but at the moment dinner time was about to roll around, the sun shining brightly at its peak on top of the quiet Sanctuary.   
Camus smiled,   
'A beautiful day.. maybe Milo would be more willing to talk in such magnificent weather.', his thoughts rambled on his own, finally stepping foot in the house to find Milo doing push-ups in the middle of the main hall which did not please Camus one bit.  
The more he approached his friend, the more his eyes started to squint at how atrocious his get-up was. The scorpion looked up and smiled brightly towards his pal as he continued his exercise, 'rocking' a slack white muscle shirt that read 'Babe Time' in bold bright red letters on it, ripped black gym shorts that weren't even the same length on either leg and a rainbow sweatband on his forehead, his hair tied in a cute ponytail that went down his sweaty back.

"Milo. You look horrifying." Camus declared with a look of utter disgust on his wrinkled face, crossing his arms close to his chest to further show how shocked he was.  
The sweat hunk stopped in his tracks and finally sat down to once again reveal his pungent dark circles around his eyes that seemed to have grown exponentially during his rest, his head tilted as he questioned his friend's judgment.   
"I think you're just jealous! Look how handsome I look! I saw this look in a magazine and--"  
Camus cut Milo's train of thoughts,  
"You look like a caveman who doesn't know how to dress. 'Babe Time'? Your shorts aren't even the same length! You can clearly tell these were long gym pants that you terribly cut by yourself. Your hair looks like a mess and your sweatband makes you look like a lost monkey in a shutdown zoo who's looking for.. for.. for its will to live."  
Milo's eyes widened at his friend's observations, his first instinct to remove the offensive headgear he thought looked pretty good, but apparently his judgment was far off. With his mouth opening wide he took another look at his shirt and frowned,  
"Hey, I can wear what I want! Did you really come here just to insult me? And on my week off nonetheless? What a friend you are.."   
Camus sighed at Milo's comment but it did not phase him in the slightest, reaching down at the other's level to grab both his shoulders with a small genuine smile,  
"If you ever dress like this again in front of me I will pulverize your clothes where they stand. Trust me. This is for your own good.", his grip tightening with every word he spoke.  
Milo groaned and pushed the Aquarius away, standing up and making his way quickly to his sleeping quarters to change his terrible fashion, waving his hands in the air like a criminal.   
"Fine, fine! I'll change. Geez..", he exclaimed, disappearing in his room for a few minutes.

When Milo finally came out he was wearing fairly normal training clothes consisting of a simple black camisole with scarlet colored knee lenght shorts and a simple black sweatband.   
"Is this better, my Prrrincess?", he bowed before Camus with his arms wide opened as he rolled his 'r' to sting a wound that was not even opened.  
"Much better indeed. You finally look like someone normal.. not that you ever were normal but still- the Princess is pleased.", Camus smiled as he joined in his japes to try and convey that he was not here to insult him but rather to help.  
Milo grinned in satisfaction as he sat back on the floor so he could potentially return to his morning activities, Camus joining him quickly as well so he could stop his friend before he got lost in an endless cycle of training. The violet haired man's head tilted to question the other's motive, not being his usual self but still trying to hide his true feelings before him as to not provoke any useless talk about him any further.  
The frigid man finally spoke; "How have you been lately, Milo? I see you're still training those recruits.. We haven't seen you outside the training grounds much."

Great. Of course he was here for that. In all honesty, Milo knew that Camus had been watching him from afar. Sure, he was great at hiding his cosmo and presence but the strong bond they had formed over the years proved to have deepened their awareness of each other, both being able to sense the other quite well from a long distance even if they were hidden. He appreciated how casual and simple Camus tried to be about the situation but if he already knew most of what was going on.. why would he even ask this way? Surely he knew that he knew.. but maybe he didn't actually care and it was only a show of empty love with no content. Perhaps he could still keep the lie going further..  
"I've been doing great! The recruits might be a bit late in their training but nothing will stop me from getting it done to the end. They have much to learn before they can even THINK about being a saint. My headaches have died down and I'm sleeping much better! I'm starting to think this break idea was a bad one! Ahahahahah!"   
'All these lies.. Milo.. you know that I know you're lying.. then why..?', Camus wondered as the other spoke, his smile disappearing into a sad disapproving pained frown. He truly was more gone than he thought, making even himself trying to believe those blatant useless lies to try and purify his thoughts and mind. If he let this go on any further it could show to be catastrophic for his psyche. With this in mind he quickly grabbed his friend's hands tightly with both of his as he stared him down, deep within his bright blue melancholic eyes,  
"Milo. We NEED to talk, and you WILL listen to me."


	4. Chapter 4

"MILO STOP TRYING TO RUN AWAY!! YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME.", Camus screamed through the bedroom's now locked door, banging on it angrily for his selfish friend to open it at once. No responses were given by Milo who kept quiet as he hid in his bed to try and ignore the loud banging who made his stress and anxiety rise by the seconds. He knew he needed help and he wanted to be held so his burdens would finally leave his heavy little heart but why did he run away as soon as Camus had stated he had seen everything? His nonsensical crying, his worthless praises to himself, him walking into at least one wall every morning due to his reduced vision caused by intense migraines, the migraines in themselves and the inhuman amounts of medicine he gulped each day to desperately try to soothe the unending intense pain. It was clear that the scorpion was afraid to face his problems and for someone as proud and strong as him to finally show his more sensitive and panicked facade made him want to crumble into a pile of dust. No one needed to see him like this.. this was not who he truly was but then.. who was he? Strong and prideful, kind and caring, loyal and lovable is who he is. Not this.. scared and anxious, soggy and weak, pessimist and self-centered person he was becoming.  
"Milo please.. I know you're scared. Facing someone in your darkest and weakest moments is one of the most frightening moments someone like you or me can face. I do not wish to put you down or belittle you, I genuinely want to help you back on your proud heels. I want to see my friend smile, laugh and be proud of who he is. You should be proud of who you are.. just look at what you've accomplished! I beg you Milo.. let me in. I will face those monsters with you all the way through. I promise.I will never leave you alone."

After around five minutes of waiting patiently for his pleas to reach the broken man, Camus saw the door to oblivion finally open to a sad and broken man, staring down at the floor. Milo was finally ready to show his true color to his 'friend' and was no more afraid of his dark thoughts and mannerisms;  
"Leave me alone Camus. You're the one who's making my head pound at the moment. I will only bother you with my self inflicted burdens and you know it well enough. I'm sad and pathetic and you've taken notice of it as well. You never stay for far too long, you watch from afar.."  
Camus cut him again; "I watch from afar to analyze how I can help you! I've tried countless times to take a forward approach but each and every time I do, my attempts have poorly failed by you brushing me away like some sort of unwanted piece of trash! You laugh it off with everyone and move forward but you are not moving as you think you are. Your body might be moving but your soul, sentiments and mind have stayed far away. You're NOT fine."  
Milo sighed, finally making eye contact with his captor to show how done he was with his bullshit;  
"I'm lying to you for your own good. You do not need someone as negative as me in your life, you deserve to be happy and live on. People like me who have fallen and given up to the tempting calls of their minds and sickening thoughts need not to live among kind people like you. I'm sad, depressed, anxious, a failure as a saint and most importantly a failure as a friend."  
As his words sunk deep in the Aquarius's mind, the scorpion's words dug even deeper in his crumbled self-esteem, digging his hole even deeper. He felt like nothing was worth his time, nothing was worth being around him, not that he had pride any longer but his twisted thoughts elevated him higher than most, contrary to what someone would think. So high that no one could reach him, no one was good enough to reach him or so he thought. Tears began to stream down his emotionless face, staring into the void;  
"I'm fine Camus.. You don't need me around to continue your journey, I'm a boulder to your shining wings. Leave before I bring you down with me", a pained smile plaguing his face.

This was it. Not even the slightest words could convince him otherwise. Even if he was going to bring him down, Camus was helping him. For good.   
"If you are a boulder to my shining wings, then let me show you the light.", quickly brushing everything Milo said about wanting him gone, Camus hugged his boulder tightly.   
Crushing him in a tight and warm embrace the angel burned his cosmo around the demon of darkness to show him the error of his words, to show him how much he loved being around him and how much his displays of disgust towards his presence mattered not to him.   
Obviously shocked, Milo's intrusive thoughts rushed him to get rid of the invader but his body was not responding. The longer the embrace, the more his body shook, the more warm tears fell from his blank eyes, his arms finally deciding to give in and wrap the smaller saint into an even tighter show of affection; crying transforming into sobbing. His legs felt weak, burying his face onto the man's neck and shoulder, showing his true self.

Camus smiled painfully and rubbed his best friend's back delicately, pushing him slowly in the room to finally help him onto the bed so they could be both more comfortable. Quickly releasing Milo and sitting him on the bed, Camus sat on top of his crossed legs, hugging him from the front koala style, his legs around his waist and arms around his chest for better cuddling power so he could also rock their bodies back and forth and from side to side to soothe as much pain he could, rubbing his back once more after they were both in place. Wrapping his arms around Camus again, the violet haired man sobbed deeper as he tried to speak his mind only to be shooshed by the other party so he could get everything out of his system, making him flinch and weep even harder.  
"Shhhhh.. take your time Milo, I'm not budging. Let's stay like this until you feel better and then we'll talk. I'm here.. I'm here.."


	5. Chapter 5

After what seemed like hours, Milo opened his eyes to find himself still holding onto Camus who was still petting his back slowly. The man groaned and turned his head towards the window to observe how much time had passed since he got dragged on the bed and how long he had been crying his sorrows away.  
"We've been at this for about an hour now if you're wondering. How do you feel?", Camus asked quietly as he broke the tender embrace to finally lay his compassionate eyes on Milo's tear marks, smiling and wiping the residues away.  
" 'm fine..", he lied again in hopes to lift up the mood for both of them, letting Camus care for his face.  
The Aquarius sighed knowing this was a lie but decided not to push him any further in hopes it would show him that even if he desperately wanted him to finally open up, that he could take his time as he was sure to be here for him.  
"Are you hungry? It's past 12 already.. I'll make you anything you want, how does that sound?" Camus pet Milo's cheeks with his smile still beaming brightly. Anything he could do to make his life better, he would. He needed the attention and he was glad to provide him with it.  
"....food." Milo quietly replied, clearly still deep in thoughts. He didn't even think about feeding himself but now that the other mentioned it, he did feel pretty famished.  
"I want… McDonald's." The violet man declared.  
"McDonald's? Milo.. the restaurant is more than 2 hours away on foot and we have food here. Wouldn't you like something homemade rather than fast food? It would be better for you and--"  
Camus stopped in his tracks as he saw that Milo was now pouting and looking down as if what he said deeply hurt him but not physically, more emotionally. More tears seemed to form around the pouty man's face as he brought Camus closer to him again for another hug, resting his head on his shoulder.  
"I want McDonald's..", he repeated with a childish tone, clearly set on his idea.  
The blue haired man sighed and brushed his hand on Milo's scalp, brushing around in his messy puffy hair.  
"You're such a child, you know that, right? Fine, I'll go ask for special permission for us to leave. Stay here, will you? It'll only take about 20 minutes. I'll be right back." As quick as he declared his plan, Camus released Milo from the tight hug and turned to head out of the room before being grabbed by the arm, making his gaze turn back on the mess he was about to leave for a few minutes. Another smile made its way on the cold man's lips, reaching at the scorpion's arm to make him release his tight grasp. The other's still wet eyes stared up at the standing saint, clearly screaming for him to stay by his side.  
"I promise I'll be back.. but if you really want to go over to the restaurant we have to ask permission and you know this well. Do you understand?"  
Milo knew this all too well but he still did not want him to leave. He felt like a child caught in a conundrum that pushed down on his shoulders so heavily that his head had started spinning again.   
"You promise?", he asked quietly, letting his friend go.  
"I promise.", the other replied as fast as he was let go, waving at his friend as he left the room to ask for their temporary leave.

Milo took the 20 minutes where his friend was gone to regain his thoughts after the meltdown he had just gone through, cleaning his face, changing for more presentable clothing and brushing his hair as best he could, making it even more fluffy than it already was. As soon as Camus returned from his quick mission, the scorpion's eyes lit up immediately, rushing to his side and grabbing his arm dearly while still looking quite down.  
"I told you I would be back, no need to act all dramatic on me. The Pope agreed on the only condition that we return before midnight.. and that we bring him back some of those small hot pies.", he chuckled as he took notice of Milo's change of get-up, smiling before taking his hand and heading towards the house's exit.  
"I take it you're all ready? You even brushed your hair, you must be excited."  
Milo nodded happily, keeping quiet as he still felt uncomfortable after everything that had occurred between them, being shy. Him. Shy. Even he could not believe what he was feeling. As the pair made their way down the houses hand in hand, gazes of interest were shot at them from both their fellow gold saints, from guards and trainees. The scorpio looked constantly at the ground with his bangs hiding his eyes, trying to cover his shame and tired pained features to keep up his image. Camus on the other hand made sure his friend would not trip and tried to take routes where the least people were to make him more comfortable, leading his pal out of the 12 houses and onto a clear road towards their destination. Milo's grip tightened as they exited their home, making his friend look up at him with eyes full of questions.  
"They were judging me.. they know everything." Milo bit his lips, his eyes tearing up again from the imaginary comments and shame he saw in everyone's eyes as he passed them. 'Look at him..' 'He looks so deplorable.' 'What a shame.. he doesn't deserve to be a gold saint.' were the sort of thoughts that plagued his mind.  
"They're not, Milo. If you had looked clearly you could have seen how worried our friends looked. I knew you would not have felt comfortable stopping so I motioned them to not provoke any conversation but.. I am 100% sure they are as worried as I am." Camus declared with pride, tightening his grip for a few seconds as well. 

As they kept walking, Milo tried his best to remember the looks everyone had shot at him as they walked out and as sad as it was.. Camus was right. Shaka, Aiolia, Aldebaran, Mu and even Deathmask looked at him and Camus with such worrisome looks that made him question why he would ever think of his friends as mean uncaring and judgmental worthless people. All these dark thoughts that clouded his judgment and pushed every single spark of joy away from him had become so heavy and black that no one could see past them and even if he once could, he was unable to remember how he used to do it. Until his gaze shifted towards the man who held his hand daringly, the man who guided him towards the place he selfishly asked to visit with him, his best friend. He usually was the one to cheer his friend up, who carried him around with a joyful smile and made him laugh and get flustered by his cheeky comments.. but today HE was the one that was being carried. Not that it mattered but.. it made him feel good. To not be the one in charge for once and to be cared for by a caring and gentle person, even if very cold and straightforward at times. Finally, a small smile came upon Milo's sad lips with a small blush forming on his already red cheeks which caught the attention of Camus, making him extremely happy to finally see his pal out of his mind and finally giving happiness another try. As they both walked for the 2 hours, they kept quiet as no words were needed. They both appreciated each other's company; another unseen bond quickly forming between the close friends.


	6. Chapter 6

During their long and painful walk Milo felt quite nervous the closer they got to the restaurant, feeling as if he needed to retreat as soon as the big yellow arch was in view. Stopping in his tracks, his hand tightened around Camus's, making his cold friend stop as well to turn back at the stress ball in front of him.  
"We're almost there Milo, are you feeling alright?"  
Milo's head shook from side to side, taking a few steps back in the process.  
"N-No.. I think I… I.. I want to go back. I mean, have you seen me!? I look like a mess, my hair is all tangled even after brushing it for 10 minutes, my clothes are dirty and dusty, my face is pale and these dark circles make me look like a dead depressed child.. I just.. I.. I don't.." Struggling to end his declaration, Milo's eyes filled with tears once more as he let Camus's hand go to grab the bottom of his shirt tightly, fiddling around with it nervously while looking at the dirt around his feet.  
He feared people's judgment and most of all he feared that everyone would look down on Camus for hanging out with such a mess of a person. In honesty, his friend had caught on his stressed behavior the more they walked further from their home but made sure to not speak about it to not upset his friend any further. Now was the time to finally show him how much he cared.

"Is that all that is bothering you? Frankly I could not care less about what anyone thinks about how you look. To me, you still look quite fetching even if your observations are mainly correct.. but if it will put you at ease.." As quickly as he ended his statement, Camus threw himself on the ground and started rolling around, making his clothes look even dirtier than Milo's (not that they even were dirty). The scorpion's eyes widened greatly at Camus's nonsense, his arms reaching forward to stop him from ruining his perfect fashion.  
"Camus!! No, what are you doing!?", he screamed, grabbing his friend by the shoulders to make him stop rolling like a cat that was trying to make its territory.   
The messy man stopped in his tracks and sat in front of the conflicted man only to start shuffling his dirty hands around in his hair, making him look almost homeless. Milo swiftly caught the other's hands in panic;  
"CAMUS!! ARE YOU DEAF? STOP IT! You look worse than me, what are you even trying to accomplish with this.. this.."  
Camus smiled; "Now that I look worse than you, they will look in my direction instead of yours! Come on, let's go.", he stood with his friend, motioning him towards their destination so they could finally feast.  
Did this man feel no shame? His expensive looking clothes, his beautiful, long, flowy hair ruined in mere seconds so he could make his tender half feel better. The violet haired man could not believe his eyes or what he heard. Of course he loved the thought but at the same time he could only feel extreme shame to have made his best friend sink this low for someone as unworthy as him, especially for a childish reason and request.. 'McDonald's'. His heart could not take any more of this kindness, making Milo cry silently in pure joy to have such a caring man by his side combined with painful tears of sadness for how ridiculous they both looked together.   
"Milo. Don't make me slap those bad thoughts away from your head. You look amazing and your hair is fine, please stop crying or people will think you're a little child." Camus declared coldly, turning back at his friend for a few seconds to then tug him back into walking with him.  
He sighed; "You DO want nuggets, don't you?"  
Milo gasped loudly, his eyes suddenly regaining their spark, shining like a small galaxy had formed in them, quickly brushing his other thoughts away and walking side by side with Camus with now only one goal in mind: Nuggets.

As they both entered the place, Milo's fears were put at ease as no one was occupying any tables. The place was deserted other than for the employees who were desperately trying to look for something to do on their painful minimum wage shitty job. Even if empty, the atmosphere still felt uncomfortable for the scorpion, making his grab tightly onto Camus's right arm as they walked towards the counter to make their orders.  
"Welcome to McDonald's, how may I serve you?", the disgruntled employee asked with an obvious fake smile.  
Camus returned the expression; "Hello, we would like a 10 piece nugget trio with a.. Milo what did you want to drink?", he turned to ask his friend.  
With sudden attention on him Milo felt pressured to answer to the employee directly.  
"Drink? I umm.. maybe uumm I.. I-I-I think I…….. nooo..", the flustered confused man hid his head behind Camus, not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment considering his past small stress attacks, his hands shaking. Camus raised his free hand and brought it to the anxious man's head, petting it in a soft and caring manner, understanding where he was coming from but still feeling bad at how low he had fallen. If only he had tried to help sooner. The employee on the other hand looked at the two with a slight confused look, not completely taken aback but surprised at the grown man's reaction to such a simple question.  
"How about a smoothie?" Camus asked his friend quietly.   
Milo nodded slowly and whispered in his ear; "Strawberry-banana?"  
"Of course..", he replied before turning his attention back at the employee. "For his drink he will take a large strawberry-banana smoothie."  
"The sauce for the nuggets?"  
"....hmm.." Camus tried to think for Milo right before the shy boy finally spoke up.  
"B-Barbecue, please..", he said quietly but loud enough so that the cashier heard his words.  
"Alright and for you, sir?"  
"Hmm.. How about a McWrap with crispy chicken..?", he replied while not being entirely sure of what he ordered, being his first time in the place and picking the first thing his eyes landed on.  
"Trio or just the wrap?"  
"Just the wrap, please"  
"Alright your total will be XX.XX$."  
Camus paid hastily and made his way with Milo by the waiting counter to wait for their meal, the scorpion still hooked on his friend's arm, his head hidden in his hair, bouncing excitingly on his feet for his treat he had walked hours for. After a few minutes of waiting patiently, the food was brought on. Camus took the plastic platter, his head turning to look at the excited bean;  
"Can you please let go of my arm? I do not want to trip and make our food fall..", he said.  
Milo complied happily, running to a table in a corner of the restaurant like a 5 year old child and waited patiently for his friend to come join him with a small smile quickly morphing into a giant grin as he grabbed his nugget box and fries, dumping the lot in the empty nugget box flap, giggling happily to finally eat his prize. The cold man laughed in pure enjoyment as he saw his friend turn back into a more happy and silly version of himself, digging in his food also, not totally impressed by the taste or flavors.


	7. Chapter 7

Each bite of his small unhealthy meal felt like pure heaven in his mouth. With each single bite out of his nuggets that Milo grabbed with both his hands to fully savor the flavors, his eyes responded with a single tear of bliss, running down his bright pink cheeks across his smile that was blinded by joy like he had never felt before. All these dark emotions seemed to vanish for a small while during his precious lunch, not making eye contact with Camus once as he was hypnotized and fully concentrated on his food. At the other side of the table, his friend had already finished his meal for a while but did not pressure the other to finish his as he clearly knew how much he was enjoying himself over such a mundane task and.. 'delicious' food. The Aquarius only stared at the scorpion as he ate with a slight smile plastered on his face, only enjoying the happiness that the other felt, making him feel more at ease with the previous situation.   
"You sure do seem to enjoy these nuggets a lot. It makes me wonder.. may I taste one?", Camus asked.

Milo snapped out of his daze and slowly raised his heavy head to finally lay his eyes on his friend, his blissful expression transforming into an angered one, his once shining eyes shooting lighting at the man with a feral hiss escaping his mouth, bringing his treasure closer to him.   
"I don't want a full nugget-- maybe only half--" The blue haired man added before starting to reach his hand forward to only be stopped by the waves and waves of dark energy that were being sent by the other.  
Milo showed his teeth to appear more threatening, starting to growl like a feral cat, taking the box of precious food close to his chest, his hands shaking in pure disbelief at the audacity his friend had to ask to share HIS meal with him.  
"Alright, alright. No need to act all feral on me. I yield." Camus raised both his hands, retreating further back in his seat in hopes it would calm the feral man. He had never seen him act in such a way and it could only be described both as extremely funny and very intense. The scorpio on the other hand took it fairly seriously and began to eat once more, not taking his offended eyes off the traitor, his legs up to his chest in fetal position with the food box on his knees.

Milo had now finished his food and even after more than 20 minutes of Camus begging for them to leave, after asking nicely, rudely and EVEN after faking his leave, Milo did not budge an inch. The man stayed on his seat, hugging his legs with his face mostly hiding behind his knees, staring at seemingly nothing.  
"Milo.. this is the last warning. I know you want to stay and I understand why! All this.. all this happiness you felt while being here was indescribable and you wish you could feel it again by staying here and ignoring your other feelings but this is not how to deal with them. Please! For the love of Athena let us go back and I will help you with those pesky bugs that are pestering you."  
Nothing. His eyes wouldn't move, his legs or head didn't falter one bit. Of course he heard everything and Camus knew that well but why on EARTH was he being so stubborn? At first he denied his love but then gladly accepted it, tried to retreat from the restaurant even before entering and now he refused to leave.  
'I can't believe I have to resort to this. Is he really acting like a child just to have more attention? Milo..', the cold man thought, walking to Milo's seat and kneeling down in front of him, asking himself why he so desperately acted like so when he knew that all he had to ask was for attention.. not to act like this.  
"Does Milo want ice cream? Will Milo accept to leave if he has ice cream? Why don't you give me a smile and Camus will buy Milo an ice cream!", using a baby voice, the Aquarius pet both Milo's arms to grab his attention while offering him a fake but pure smile.  
It took him a while to respond but when Milo's eyes finally looked at Camus, his head slowly nodded on his own, releasing his knees from their embrace as he stood up weakly and grabbed onto his friend's arm once more. Camus sighed and stood up as well, heading to the counter, ordering an oreo McFlurry and the small pies the Pope had tasked him to bring back and headed out of the establishment with his giant baby who silently ate his bitter, not well deserved treat. 

'How much lower are you going to fall? Look at Camus.. he sees you as a child. You've retreated so far into your own cocoon and mind that you're now left unharmed and defenseless against everything. You're not acting like a child, you ARE a child. You need to retreat more. He's trying to hurt you by making you confess everything you've worked so hard to keep hidden. Worthless friend. Worthless saint. Nothing you say has value. Nothing you do has an impact. Only negative things will come out of you acting on your own. You're so weak. You're so sad and deplorable. Look at me, stay by me but don't hurt me. I'm so sad. Why isn't he leaving? Why am I even still here pretending I'm fine? I'm so sad. No one can help me, my problems aren't even worth his or my time. They're nothing compared to everything. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. Why does being sad hurt? It could be so much worse but then.. Why am I so sad? I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad.'

Milo kept walking. Arm in arm with Camus. His face showing no emotions. His thoughts screaming in his head. His pleas not being heard, echoing in a pool of tainted waters that could not be drained by a weak minded person. The more he walked, the more he felt. The more he felt, the more he lived. The more he lived, the more pained he became. The more pained he felt.. pain.. sadness. Unwanted. Despite his strong bond and despite his strong heart, his corruption grew every milliseconds. So concentrated on himself that the bigger picture was not in view any longer. Only a deep dark room. Him in the middle. Drowning in insignificant sorrow. Destroying his core. More walking. It never does ever stop, does it? The pain.. the curse of life? Nothing could be worse than ending it on your own but even then.. would it even be worth it? Even with this much hurt, this much hate, nothing could be worth of ending it all. The dumbest act in his opinion. He needed to live, to see, to experience. But. But. The waves, the waves. Showering these unexplored feelings and.. nothing. Nothing could be said anymore.

'Milo knows who he is. Milo is Milo. I'm sad, I'm courageous. I'm anxious, I'm faithful. I will accept who I am, I can never go back to where I was. Fuck these thoughts inside me, they do mot control me. I'm the master of this castle, no one but me will make it crumble. I accept his help, it is all I can do. It is I, Milo.'


	8. Chapter 8

It only took Camus 15 minutes this time to come back from his delivery, hurrying as fast he could to return to Milo's side. Something was wrong. The other's cosmo was wavering like never before. So much pain and sadness that it was unbearable for Camus.. he could only imagine what Milo was going through. As soon as he slammed the door to Milo's room open, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary just yet. Milo was lying soundly in his covers, the lights were off which was slightly concerning but seeking darkness could have been a side effect of Milo's feelings so he didn't really put too much thought into it. The concerned saint closed the door behind him for more privacy as he slowly walked by the pile of covers that was lying on the bed, kneeling down to its level to finally see Milo's face. His eyes were closed which was a good sign but he did not seem to be asleep. No.. he was clearly awake. Small pained pants escaped his mouth with slight confused moans here and there, small tears falling from his eyes once and a while and his soft body that refused to move. Camus brought his hand back on Milo's head to signal his presence which made the other gasp, causing him to start crying a little more.  
"Shhh.. I'm here Milo. I'm here. Are you alright? Can you tell me what's happening?", He asked with a caring tone and a small smile.  
More small pained howls escaped the violet haired man's mouth, clearly he was having trouble processing his thoughts and putting them into words.   
"mmmm.. am… am………", while still taking his time, Milo tried his best to speak.  
"Are you in pain?", Camus asked.  
"nnnoo.."  
"Ok.. How do you feel?"  
".........saad n n mmmm sad"  
"How can I help Milo?"  
"i dont i i dunno"  
The panicking man's words were spoken very far apart from each other, trying to compose his thoughts and self in front of his friends but clearly unable to do so in a correct manner. More tears formed and fell everywhere on Milo's sad figure, panting louder and louder with every touch and question. The world was spinning around him. Like he was on a carnival ride but his body was still as a rock, unable to move an inch. He felt small, insignificant, weak but… Camus was here. So happy..   
"hhha… happy….", he managed to say before his soft cries turned into strong sobbing fits with loud cries and gasps for air; still stiff, unmovable.  
"Are you happy Milo? Wait… Milo.. Milo!! Hang in there!" Camus's hands grasped his friend's shoulders tightly, trying to find a way to contain the sudden panic that was inflicted on the other. He was at a loss for words and actions. What did his friend need? What should he do? Tears also formed on the helper's face, helpless to his friend's demise.

All this built up stress, all this anxiety and sadness overwhelmed the scorpio. Too much to bear for a weakened man such as him. All the training, all the responsibilities of a gold saint, a strong facade to uphold, tests he faced, critics that murdered his self esteem, defeats, self loathing and so much more. All these feelings. Plus… this new feeling. Happiness. Love. Compassion. From a single man. His best friend. A childhood friend. He felt so much love even if he was weak, even if he had fell so far. He was right here, petting him, cheering him on, hugging him and there was no judgment. He felt so safe around him. This.. this.. 

It was love.

The more his joy crashed with his sorrows, more panicking ensued. Camus rolled his friend on his back to ensure he could breathe better, removing his thick sheets upon his fragile figure, sitting on the bed and shaking while staring at this disaster. Of course he needed to help but all he could do..  
"I'm here Milo, breathe slowly, breathe.. You're not alone. I will always be here for you. Forever." , Is all the frigid man could muster up to say as he hugged Milo dearly, his head on his chest.  
"aaaaa aaahahh…. aaaaaa  
aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Milo screeched at the top of his lungs after earing Camus's final words to him. The crying took over his every cells, panting, weeping, screaming for it to stop but could still not move. Everything was coming out at once. Finally. With his hair getting soaked with his pillow, Milo cried and sobbed for what it seemed like ages, Camus still by his side, tenderly only wanting to rip his friend's sorrow from his soul but knowing this was the only way to let him escape from his concealment.   
Milo needed to hug Camus back. He craved for it oh so deeply but his noodle of a body did not respond to any of his commands. He was a pawn to his agony, a mere fool to the dance of woe his tight heart bathed in. His howls stopped but the loud gasps for air he seeked did not falter. Camus took notice of Milo's predicament and tried to give him his help once more;  
"You're doing great Milo. Deep breaths. Deep long breaths. That's it.. keep it going.. good boy, good boy…", he repeated, moving his body upper from Milo's chest to his shoulders, their heads side by side, their breaths intertwining as one, the scorpio's cheek being pet passionately. The cold man hugged his friend by his side with his free arm resting on the other's shoulders and his hand resting on the tip of the bed, waiting patiently for more calm moments like these with the man he… he loved.

They both rested still for a while, again finally enjoying the other's company. Camus sending his strongest happiest vibes to Milo, Milo puzzling his head back together with the help of his beloved. Milo finally was able to move, turning his head to look at his friend with a tiny smile;  
"am…. am back..", his arm slowly moving up to the hand that was petting him, grasping it weakly and bringing it back on his chest, petting it with his thumb.  
"Welcome back..", the Aquarius replied with a kiss on his cheek.  
Milo's eyes widened greatly at the gesture. Did they really share such a moment like this to finally be able to understand instantly how the other delt? Maybe all this physical contact had made them more sensible to their hidden feelings that burst opened brightly in the light of the shining moon.   
"How do you feel? You scared me..", Camus confessed before squeezing their hands tightly together.   
"am still sad but…. but…", he took a few deep breaths, still feeling slightly out of it from all these intense emotions. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.  
"but am… I'm happy you're here."  
"I'm happy to be here too. Take your time, let's stay like this for as long as you need. We still have a few days of your break and--"  
Camus was cut short by Milo suddenly turning on his side and pressing his lips tightly against his, fully concentrated on his new goal at hand. Even if extremely surprised at this bold move, none of them opposed, their grasp tightening with each second, doubt flying out of their minds which was replaced with a feeling of both faith and passion.

Of course, Milo's condition could not be cured so easily and dare it be said, could never be cured but with his new partner on his side and the future looking bright, they both felt their obstructions crumble greatly as they would never be alone anymore. A companionship that would brave the toughest obstacles and dirtiest enemies.


End file.
